Sanjeevani Chandak

Losing the attitude
Siding with gratitude

We’re not always happy with who we are or what we look like. I, for one, would have loved to change a hundred things about myself. But the problem with being dissatisfied is, it doesn’t just stop. As soon as one ‘issue’ is sorted, another ‘issue’ crops up leaving you as discontent. There’d be yet another thing that you would start disliking thus continuing the cycle.

Let’s just say, I wasn’t one of those people who said ‘let’s be grateful for all the blessings’. I have been, like most of the humankind, focused on all the things that I lacked, that I couldn’t do and that I lost.

My biggest issue in the past few years was with my physical appearance. We’ve all had a confusing relationship with our body, and I’m no different. If I were to ask you “Can you name five things you would want to change about your body?”, I bet you could answer it in less than a minute. I know I could! Whereas, if you were asked “what are five things that you absolutely love about yourself?”, would you be able to answer just as quickly?

It wasn’t until this year that I’ve tried to change my mindset a little bit. I was teaching yoga every day (sometimes twice or thrice a day) and was simply amazed at my body’s perseverance. It moved, contorted and twisted just the way I wanted it to every single day. Also, the deeper I started getting into anatomy and physiology and its relation to yoga asanas, the more grateful I felt about my body.

There are thousands of processes going on in my body even while I’m writing this. Thousands of systems, big and small, working in tandem to keep me alive and healthy. And what was I doing in return? Shit talking about it while doing things that clearly contributed to a lot of the problems I had with it. It’s clearly my responsibility to take care of my body. I can’t just spoil it and then blame it for the consequences of my own actions.

This realisation has brought with it a lot of clarity and good vibes. I try not to be hard on myself for things that aren’t “perfect”. Some things are in my hand and can be changed. So it’s better to focus on those instead. Of course, it’s not so easy to change a deeply ingrained mindset, but I’m happy that I am trying!